Do you want to be right?
Or would you prefer to be curious?
Or maybe, just maybe, it’s right to be curious.
Many people want to be right. Look at your Facebook feed and glance at the newest post that bashes a politician and embraces ideological rhetoric. Watch The Office and observe the legendary debate on the existence of Stanley’s mustache. Ask your friend if he prefers watching Tom Cruise or Tom Hanks on the big screen, and let the sparks fly when he chooses the wrong Tom.
Few people want to be curious. Few people will react to that Facebook post by researching the policy or recent event that the post targets. Few people will consider the psychological and social implications that precede one of The Office’s many satirical clips. Few people will actually listen to their friend’s perspective on Tom Cruise and consider his impeccable performances in Cocktail and A Few Good Men.
Curiosity involves actively listening to your counterpart, asking relevant questions, and placing your preconceived notions on the backburner. As you actively listen, and ask questions, and place your counterpart’s perspective above your own, you will glean insights that you may not have considered previously. You will reflect on your insights and apply them to enhance your own perspective. Even if you don’t glean insights from your counterpart, you will develop a better understanding of how other people view the subjects of your discussion, and how you can better relate to people who possess different views than you.
Being right involves placing your preconceived notions at the forefront of the conversation. When you focus on being right, you hold firm to your stance as you answer your counterpart’s questions. You ignore your counterpart’s viewpoints and take any opportunity to insert your own opinion into the conversation. The focus centers on you, and your own beliefs, as opposed to engaging your counterpart and learning from him.
Curiosity is a mutually beneficial exchange that encourages effective communication, information sharing, and applicable learnings. Being right is a mutually detrimental exchange that encourages animosity, ego, and divisiveness. When you’re curious, you’re synergistic – you integrate your counterpart’s ideas, your own ideas, and the holistic ideation exchange into heightened awareness and enlightenment. You become better off, and so does your counterpart. When you’re focused on being right, you’re destructive – you don’t listen to your counterpart, or glean insights, or reflect, or apply any learnings (because there are none). Likewise, your counterpart is no better off. You’ve wasted your time, your energy, and your counterpart’s time and energy.
Leave your ego at the door. Why limit yourself to being right, when you can embrace the limitless potential of curiosity? Open the door to new ideas, new insights, and new reflections. These new developments hone your perspective and may enlighten your personal beliefs and values. The door of “being right” is always closed. It’s always locked. It always prevents you from meeting your counterpart. Contrastingly, the door of “curiosity” is always open. It’s always unlocked. It always facilitates conversation with your counterpart, which will allow insights (and your counterpart) to enter your home of ideas, reflections, and learnings. And who knows – maybe your counterpart will bring a house-warming gift that adds value to your home, whether it’s a vase for your coffee table or a home-cooked meal.
Be curious. Being right is overrated. Being curious will pay off in the long-run. For you and for everyone with whom you interact. Add value to your surroundings by being curious and opening yourself to any and all perspectives.
Please note: I am not advocating that you change your core values; rather, I am advocating that you take the time to grow and hone your own perspective by absorbing others’ perspectives.
Go and be curious 🙂 If you need a little momentum … change your name to George and embrace curiosity at its fullest!
