Recently, a social media influencer quoted, “If you never fall on hard times, you will never know who your true friends are.”
Variations of this quote have been utilized to suggest that our darkest days can be brightened by those special friends who stick by us throughout our struggles.
I wholeheartedly disagree with this quote, and for good reason.
It’s relatively easy to support someone when that person hits rock bottom. You offer him a shoulder for crying, an ear for listening, and a sympathetic heart for connectedness. And you feel good about helping someone who is less fortunate than you.
I’d argue that your true friends are revealed during your times of glory – in practice, it’s relatively hard to support someone when that person hits success.
Those friends who genuinely support you during your extraordinary moments are true advocates of your mission. They hold a genuine love for you, without the threat of envy or alienation when you reach the top of the bucket. They don’t succumb to crab-in-bucket syndrome, in which your so-called “friends” in the dark times try their darnedest to hold you back when you ascend from your gloomy days and embrace your glory days.
True friends are those who can elevate your immediate interests, and triumphs, above their own issues and concerns.
It is significantly harder for people to serve as sideline supporters during your brightest days when these same people could brighten their own days by comparing themselves to your darkest moments.
Ultimately, the truest of friends ride both waves with you – the good and the bad. However, if you need a particular test of true friendship … look no further than those who high five you and engage you during your successes.
